Pre-Approach

Whenever someone enters a room it is natural for people to turn and look at that person or even just to notice that person. You may not know it but when you enter the room the girls will notice your entrance and straight away make a subconscious evaluation about your value. Therefore before you even approach there are certain guidelines you should follow:

• Instantly open a set or talk to friends
• When entering a venue walk in like you own the place, not like you’re new
• Be socialable, be laughing and having fun
• While talking to people be leading the conversation and using meaningful gestures
• Talk at a slightly louder tone
• Don’t look around the venue
• Don’t wander aimlessly around the venue

If you do this you are already displaying value

Presence

This can be a huge help to your game. Using tools such as pre-selection (being surrounded by girls), entering the club like you own it, instantly talking to people when you arrive at a venue, being loud and the center of attention. All of these things create a presence. When you enter a venue you want people to know your there and give off the image that your someone they want to talk to. This can be hard when first learning and is more of an advanced technique. However once mastered you will notice that girls will open much easier, and girls will even start to approach you.

The Approach

When you are about to approach make sure you walk confidently and smile. When you begin an opener make sure you display confident body language, use meaningful gestures and use facial expressions. If you are going to approach a set you will want to have slightly higher energy levels than them and be more interesting than what they are currently doing or talking about. For example; you would not walk into a set that are jumping around having lots of fun and ask them if they know what date is the queens birthday. This would be too low energy and a completely uninteresting opener, definitely not more interesting than what ever they are jumping around about.

Pecking: This is when you lean in to hear the girl. This is bad body language for a confident male. If she cant hear you or you cant hear her, talk louder or let her lean in to talk/listen to you.

Statements

Try to avoid asking questions. Girls hate it when you give them 21 questions and get bored of it very quickly. Most guys when they approach a girl will instantly try and build rapport by asking them a bunch of questions “whats your name”, “where are you from”, “where do you work”. Instead of asking questions make statements. “You remind me of my first girlfriend, her name was sally”, “You’ve got this english accent”, “I bet your a teacher… you’ve just got this save the world vibe”. Notice how these statements would get the girl to give up the same information as the questions would had. However it is delivered in a more confident and interesting way.

Hesitation

When approaching a set the worst thing you can do is hesitate on during your approach or before your approach. Girls can very easily sence hesitation and it will instantly lower your value. A man who is hesitant is not confident.

3 Second Rule

Mystery invented the 3 second rule for approaching. The rule is that when you see an attractive girl you have to approach within three seconds. This will do two things. The first is it will not give you enough time to work up approach anxiety. Also it will make the approach look more spontaneous and display confidence and that you are social.

Approach invitations

Always be out on the look out for approach invitations. Whenever a girl is interested in a guy and would like for him to approach her she will usually look at the guy, wait for you to look at her, make eye contact and smile. If a girl does this to you this usually means that they are inviting you to talk to her. If this happens then you should approach using a direct opener.

Indirect Opener

An indirect opener is a way of starting a conversation with a girl, without a SOI (statement of intent). The idea is to not let her know you are targeting her and to not hit on her yet.

There are a few reasons you would approach a girl indirectly.

• The biggest reason would be to fly under the radar avoiding her “bitch shield” (the don’t talk to me shield).
• If you are new to game this will help build confidence, and allow you to work on nonverbal communication.
• These are generally low investment openers (she doesn’t have to get too into the conversation) and there generally quite  interesting.
• She does not have to judge if she is interested in you.. yet.
• She may have a boyfriend or group of friends around. They will feel less threatened if you are not directly hitting on her.

Recommended Listening: Opening and Transitioning

False Time Constraint (FTC)

When approaching a set you should always put in a time constraint. This lets makes them think that your not gonna hang around and prevents them from thinking “when is this guy going to leave”. we are simply comforting any negative thoughts about your approach.

Examples:

• “Oh hey guys quick question, I can stay long, but..”
• “Oh hey i gotta catch up with my friend in a second, but..”

Bodyrocking: This is when you lean back or tilt to the side and make it look like your ready to leave. It is a non-verbal false time constraint

Root

When you run an indirect opener some girls may not believe your story and see it as a feeble attempt to hit on them. Therefore we make the opener sound more realistic by using names, dates, locations to ground our opener to the real world. For example we could say

“Hey guys, my friend just broke up with his girl friend.. How long should I wait before dating her?”

We can then add a root into the opener to give it more realism.

“Hey guys, my friend Dave just broke up with his girlfriend. Now it happened only last week, but How long should I wait before dating her?”

The second story sounded more real, where as the first one sounded like it could just be a form of pick up line.

Locking in

Locking in is where you position yourself in the middle of the action so that to everyone else outside of the conversation it looks like the girl is hitting on you. An example is where you approach a set that is sitting down, you would deliver your opener standing. To everyone else they can tell that your starting a conversation with them. Then after you all start talking you can lock in by pulling up a chair and sitting back in the chair. This will then look as if they are talking to you. Another form of locking in is where you lean against a wall and the girl stands in front of you while your talking. This makes it look like your trapped by her conversation. You should always lock in as soon as possible without it being too awkward. This is a skill that takes practice. You would be surprised by how easy it is to lock in. A great strategy is to continue talking while locking in. This keeps the focus off your lock in, makes it feel more natural, and girls will naturally move with you to allow for your lock in.

Disqualifying / Breaking Rapport

When guys first approach a girl they aim to build rapport. This has its time, and is not during the approach. In fact you should not be seeking rapport. You should have the mentality that beautiful girls are all throughout your life, and beauty for you is common. If you are approaching indirectly you should break rapport and disqualify your self. This is to say something to remove your self from being considered a potential suitor (for now). This lowers her barriers and disarms the entire group from seeing you as someone trying to pick her up. Some good disqualifiers:

• You remind me of my little sister (delivered to target)
• Oh my god how do you stand her, is she always like this (delivered to group)
• You cant take her anywhere (delivered to group)
• I have a thing for blonde’s | brunetes (whichever she is not)

Breaking Rapport

• Your so gorgeous, too bad your not my type (delivered to target)

Negs

A neg is a more advanced type of disqualification. Its aim is to disqualify the girl and lower her value. A neg is simply complimenting her in a way that turns out as an insult. A neg should NEVER be a direct insult, and you should always be friendly and smiling while delivering the neg. After you have delivered the neg the girl is likely to respond bad. Therefore right after the delivery you should straight away lead the conversation elsewhere.

Examples:

• Nice nails are they real? <no> Oh.. well.. their still nice
• Oh my god! you do the cutest thing when you laugh, your nose wiggles

Milking the opener

This is a newby mistake made much too oftern. This is when you get stuck talking about the opener. As a rule you should move on from your opener into a transition between 10 seconds – 5 minutes. If you stay on the same topic the conversation will quickly become stale and girls will oftern lock you out by turning their body away and continue the conversation they were having (without you involved). Your opener is never interesting enough to keep attention so you have to transisiton as soon as you can and start working attraction material. This way they will want you to stick around and will even help keep conversations rolling.

Stacking

Sometimes you will run out of things to say, or reach a mind blank. Sometimes you might just wanna push more interesting topics rather than working attraction, if her boyfriend turns up for example. You can stack routines so start with an opener about your firends girlfriend, then move into another opener about the fight outside. Stacking routines like this keeps attention on you and builds your value. It can be a good technique to use, especially if your only just starting out. Check out our list of routines

The Challenge

Girls will oftern challenge you or give you a shit test to evaluate your value, and sometimes even just to cockblock. They will give you a screening test, either asking you to do something small for them or asking you a screening question. This comes under hoop theory and frame control which we will get into later. But essentialy you shouldent just jump in and do what ever she asks from you. She is testing you to see if you will do anything she wants to see if you percive her value to be higher than yours. Because we know this we will not just instantly jump though her hoop. If she asks you to buy her a drink avoid doing so. If she asks what you do give her a joke answer first, e.g “Well.. I work  at the willy wonker chocolate  factory… im in charge of the umpa loompers, their really hard to manage though alwasy singing and dancing” or alternatively get her to guess. After she has a guess or two then you can tell her. This way your not just doing what she asks and your also getting her to do what you ask, to guess.

If you ever get caught out as being a PUA or hitting on a girl you have to keep your cool, be calm and absolutley honest. If a girl asks whether your hitting on her you should always be honest and say yes. This will disarm them and display confidence and honesty. Even if a friend or boyfriend asks if your hitting on her, as long as it doesnt result in violence, say yes but do it with a smile and in a more funny way. You’ll still get the same points, even moreso for being funny. If you get caught using routines; just admit to trying the routine and joke about how of if you use it you get caught out. If she asks if youve read any PUA material such as The Game, just admit it and find out how she read about it. You’ve both now got something in common. Girls who read PUA material usualy like the fact that guys are deticated enough to work on them selves for girls.

Direct Opener

There are many forms of direct openers, this is more of an advanced technique. A direct opener is appraoching a women and instantly giving a statement of intent (SOI). Direct openers are great as they display a great amount of confidence, and can be somewhat romantic. They also require less of a transition, she knows your there to talk to her and if she responds positivly to the direct opener then she has given the green light to continue to talk to her. However this also pushes the girl to consider if she is interested enough in you to talk to you. If your sub-communications (body language, voice, fashion, etc) are bad, then you have a high chance of getting turned down.

Examples

• Hey you guys look friendly (semi-direct)
• Wow you must be shy, we’ve been over there the whole time and you havent come and said hi  (semi-direct)
• Oh hey sorry I’m late traffic has just been so busy today.. oh and I also forgot the flowers.. really sorry about that. (use on small set of girl(s))
• Wow your cute
• OMG I saw you from across the road, I would had been kicking myself if I didnt come up and say hi to you. My names <<name>> by the way
• You.. are abosulutley.. gorgeous.. I just had to come introduce myself.

Recommended Listening: Direct Game

Continue to Transition