Approach Anxiety, also known as AA, is the fear of approaching a beautiful girl and talking to her. This was developed though evolution. We homo sapiens are evolutionarily designed to live as we did 70,000 years ago – we lived in small tribes and the girls flocked to the few guys who had power in the tribes, the tribal leader and his closest friends. This was because if they aligned themselves with the leaders they would have a better lifestyle and would be better looked after and more likely to survive. If a male walked up to a girl who was associated with one of the tribal leaders, he could be killed or excluded from the tribe. This created a fear of approaching beautiful women. When first starting to learn PUA you will carry a fear of approaching. Every male has this fear, if you want to become good at PUA you must overcome this fear and push yourself to begin conversations with girls. If you are having trouble with AA try working on your confidence or try some of the training below.

Recommended Reading: The Mystery Method: How to Get Beautiful Women Into Bed

Defeating AA

Here are some steps you can take to gradually get used to

1. Walk around town and try to hold eye contact with people.
2. Walk around town and say hi to people who pass by.
3. Make a call to a random phone number and ask for a movie recommendation.
4. Try low investment openers; go up to a girl and ask for the time, ask for directions.
5. Try an indirect opener.

If you practice talking to girls you will not get over approach anxiety but you will get used to taking it on and turning the anxiety into fuel to walk up and approach. Approach Anxiety is not something you will get over, every PUA runs into it and pushes through it. Another good thing is state of mind. Try and get yourself pumped up before going out to approach women, not on drugs or alcohol, but build up some energy. Try listening to high energy music or talking to a whole bunch of friends.

Fears

• Rejection
  Yes, in learning this you will run into rejection. But you must understand if you get rejected, it is nothing to take personally. This just means you are doing something wrong. If you are rejected after an attempted opener, they are rejecting your opener not who you are. If you get rejected from getting a phone number, this means you have not built enough attraction and comfort and not that you are they type of person she will never be with. Rejection within the first few interactions with someone they know very little about you is normal. As such, what they reject are those things you said or did because they don’t know enough to reject who you are. Never take it personally and don’t let it affect you. Just push through it and move on to the next set.
• Everyone will hear me try and pick her up
  Especially in the day, people will hear your pickups. But know that what you are doing is conversing with another person. It is totally normal and to most outsiders, it looks like you are just conversing. If other people hear you picking up a girl, don’t worry about it. Most people wouldn’t even notice.
• She wont hear me if I approach
  Your voice plays a great part of how you present yourself. First, be loud when talking. If she doesn’t hear you while opening then just repeat yourself louder. Second, try leaning in wherever possible and never avoid approaching on this basis! This is vital, you cannot pickup without making a move. Give it a try and if it doesn’t work be more energetic and louder next time. In time, this will help you calibrate and know exactly how to talk in different situations.

Limiting Beliefs

• Procrastination
  This is so common in pickup, especially when approaching. When you see a girl, you have to understand that any reason for not approaching her (don’t have anything to say, she’s not my type, she already has a boyfriend, I’ll talk to the next one) is only an excuse. In all these cases these “barriers” are only put up by yourself and there is actually nothing  stopping you from approaching. Get out there and just do it! If you fail then you have gained some experience where you can look back at what you did wrong and learn from your mistakes. This is a win / win situation.
• I’m not good enough
  Control your frame of mind. All you really have to do is believe that you are not only good enough, you are even better than that. If you have this mentality, it will shine through you. People will pick up on this and it will come through but avoid being arrogant. Aim more for cocky funny. We will talk more about this in attraction. Just remember that being good enough is all in your head, after all we are all human, nothing really makes one person better than another. We are all equals.

Recommended Reading: Rules of the Game

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