To be confident you have to:

• be happy with who you are
• don’t worry about what people think
• be calm, and don’t rush
• know what you want and go for it

If you have confidence it suggest that you are good at what you do. If you are confident at driving then it suggests you are a good driver with a lot of experience. If you are confident at talking to girls it suggests you are good with girls and have had a lot of experience. Even if this is false, fake it till you make it. Display confidence and they will believe that you are confident.

Confidence is such an important part of pickup. It is a strong tool to use and girls are attracted to it. They love a man who is confident about who he is. Don’t hesitate and just go for it! The best part of confidence is that it can be faked. If you are not confident, you can alter your body language, voice and energy to create an image of a very confident person. There is no way of telling a confident person from a person faking it. Eventually, you get though faking confidence and seeing the results you will in time naturally become confident.

Recommended Listening: How to be an Alpha Male

State

State of mind or state is getting into the mindset of wanting to go into field and talk with random people. This is something that oftentimes is hard to get into. A lot of guys will drink to do this. Try to avoid drinking whilst gaming, if you drink your words will slur. You won’t have the same mental awareness and capacity, and as such, you wont be able to properly calibrate. Girls put you into the “drunk guy” category and disregard everything you say. Girls don’t see it very romantic to be picked up at the bar by some drunk guy. Instead, try the strategies listed below, and don’t be afraid to run though some practice approaches to get you warmed up.

Strategies

• Practice runs
• Talk with friends
• Listen to high energetic music
• Work out

State in some ways can be linked with confidence. A confident man will be happy to walk around talking to strangers, he doesn’t care what they think and whether they like him or not. Try not to base too much of your state on rejections / success with your approaches for that day. This only means that you are seeking validation from other people. A confident man only seeks validation from himself.

Body Language

Did you know that roughly 70% of all communications is non-verbal? This is a well known fact by most communications experts and is taught in presentation seminars as well as PUA boot camps. Its not what you say, its how you say it!

Body language is such a large topic, you are much better off purchasing a book on body language that includes pictures rather than trying to put pieces together from reading. However we will outline the basics of body language which you can practice and analyze. Please note that body language comes in clusters, as words come in sentences. You must be able to notice a few gestures that will tell you what a person is communicating. Taking one gesture out of a cluster is not always accurate.

Closed

• Arms Crossed
• Legs Crossed
• Arm across the body
• Hands in pockets

Open

• Palms visible
• Shoulders open
• Leaning in

Agreeing

• Head nodding
• Smile

Disagreeing

• Head shaking
• Scrunched face
• Eye brows lowered
• Arms crossed
• Leaning back

Friendly

• Palms showing
• Body facing you
• Legs crossed towards you
• Smile

Nervous

• Shaking leg
• Constant tapping
• Constant blinking
• Nervous twitching

Bored

• Looking around
• Face resting on hand
• Slouching posture
• legs or arms crossed
• body facing away

Masculine Body Language

• stable stance
• step in and out at the right times
• hands by side or in front of you
• use of gestures
• don’t hold object in front of you
• rarely use closed body language
• use smooth and calm movements, don’t be too quick or jagged
• able to hold eye contact
• take up space and spread out
• lean back

Smiling

Smiling is vital to your approach and majority of your interaction. Smiling when talking shows you are friendly and having fun. When you smile, try smiling with both sides of your mouth. Make sure you smile through your eyes and not just your mouth. You can always tell a fake smile if you cannot see it in their eyes. When girls are not interested in you they will ofter a fake smile throughout the interaction. Watch out for this, if you see it, then you are doing something wrong. Work out what it is and change it.

Eye Contact

Eye contact is also very important in any interaction. This not only demonstrates confidence, it also displays the traits of being honest, trustworthy and friendly. However if you are not able to make and contain eye contact, you can appear wimpy, insecure, dishonest, and untrustworthy. Make sure when you are working on attraction, comfort and during dates, you are able to make and hold eye contact, not the entire time but when talking. Making eye contact with people build relationships between people. By simply increasing the amount of eye contact you do, you will be able to make those connections with people and girls will feel more comfortable around you.

Gestures

A confident man is not afraid to gesture. You have to be able to speak with your hands and movements, as well as your voice. This will help you increase energy and express yourself while storytelling. Gestures will also give you more opportunities to use kino (which we will get into in attraction).

Voice

Make sure your voice is loud enough for everyone in a group to be able to hear. Most people talk too softly, you have to increase your volume. By doing so you will again demonstrate confidence. You will also sound more commanding and have stronger control over the frame. Ensure that you do not keep your voice at a monotone. You have to be able to modulate your voice. This will help you keep interest, again giving you stronger control over the frame. Having a good voice will demonstrate that you have a good social intuition. It also suggests that you are a very sociable person.

Pacing of you voice is very important. The key here is to pause. A pause can create suspence and make your words sound more interesting. One thing that allot of guys do when talking to women is talk too fast. You have to slow down you pace to become more confident. If you are looking to raise your energy you can still keep a calm pace, just use more gestures, movements, and facial expressions.

Recommended Reading: The Definitive Book of Body Language

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